Sorry, But...

It isn't me. She's the one who is killing it.

Hardly Handled.

There are very few things that immediately irritate me. One major one is indecisiveness. It is like, make a decision already. Just go for it, do it, and stop beating around the bush. If you've got something on your mind, say it. But at the same point validly I can proclaim that I as well will hold back from saying what I'm thinking, but only if it has to do with politeness.

I just hate sitting and waiting and getting ready and getting let down. I feel like all my days off are spent at home in front of the computer, watching a movie, or doing artwork. I mean, I love my apartment, but as soon as i get a car I am OFF! Where should I go? What does it matter! If I have two days off in a row, I'm going somewhere. When I owned a car before, I never really went for trips (I just wrote that as tricks on accident) because I was scared to travel on my own. Now I love it, and I will hoot and holler while on my way somewhere. I will not stop until everyone has seen enough of me in every city everywhere. Maybe not to that extent.

I'm trying to rent a car, but I supposed I should have reserved it on something other than the most busiest day of the year for renting cars (so they tell me). Oops. Well I might be taking a cab to work tomorrow. We will see. I guess, chalk it up to new experiences. I haven't been in a cab since the Cleveland crazy times. I just called them and they still don't have any cars.

She's FUN-nee.

I like talking to my friend Alicia on gmail. She lives in Alabama, but is moving to Boston. I equate Boston to be its own state....of minnnnnd! Anyway, this is how our conversations start off and usually go:

alicia: zooboomagoo
me: shitty titty bang bang!
alicia: ha!
me: ho!
alicia: bingbong wigwam huddle-huddle-foot-prawn
me: no.
i mean yes!
YES YES YES!
alicia: :(
me: OHHHHH YES
stoppit.
cut it out.
no more.
ouch.
ouch
ouch
ouch
ouch
alicia: i will never recover from this hurt
me: you better. OR ELSE
alicia: or ellllssseee...
me: dead...puppies.
alicia: i prefer kittens to puppies anyshit
me: fine. i just killed all of them.
30 puppies.
alicia: no skin off my lamp
me: that.......is terrible!
hitler youth.
alicia: gein youth.
me: there should be Duni youth.
alicia: i'd participate
me: coooool i wonder what my youth would do.
i guess they could have dance parties
alicia: that's all they should do
me: no eating
no sleeping
just dancing
and only to the charlie brown song
alicia: precisely
me: do da doo da doo DOO DOO...da doo doo!
alicia: and they'd sing the notes in doo-doo-da's aloud
me: yep.
alicia: what if they had their own language?
me: now i just need to abduct some kindergartners
alicia: just adopt some
it's less illegal that way
me: wouldn't be very hitleresque of me though.

Uh UH!

I had my picture posted asdfadhlahasdhf asdfas in someone's bulletin, and a guy said I look like this guy:

What the FUuuuuuuUuUUuuuck. No. I said NO. I do not look like him. AT ALL. I mean ok the glasses. but... hey... actually... You know what....I guess I can see it. Twice in my life I have been compared to someone, and both times its been a man. The first time was to John Lennon, the second time to this hairy faced man, who when he talks, his skin waddle probably vibrates and jiggles. DAMMIT!

I hope the girls who are being compared to Scarlet Johananahansen and Vivica A. Fox should be unusually happy about it, because you could have THIS for a celebrity comparison. We aren't even the same SEX. Crimony.

I was thinking about my Christmas party recently. Every year I have a Christmas party and invite my friends to join in the beauty of the food and atmosphere. It usually turns out to be a grand time, well the last two years have been so, and this year hopefully will be even better. Last year was ham, so this year is going to be turkey again. I need to start looking at some recipes to see if there is anything unusual I can do. I want to be totally prepared this time. Luckily this year I think I will have a friend to help a little. I guess Tracie might be coming but that isn't confirmed yet. The bad thing about my apartment is that every year more people come, and it gets more and more cramped. The other weird thing is that half my friends drink, and the other half doesn't so it gets kind of complicated to have that work out as well. Not that the non drinking can't handle it, but it can get expensive to buy drinks for both parties. I could do byob, but I hate that. I feel like at least the refreshments can be supplied.

Picking a date is always a problem too, but I think if I give everyone this far in advance, it should work alright. So I'm thinking Dec 21st because it is the weekend and a Sunday, and it could happen easily on that day. So much process for one day! Also this year, reminder to self: get a smaller turkey.

UUUUUUUUUGH

Things get better, things get worse, things get better, things get worse.

I just turned the t.v. on and Everybody Loves Raymond was on. Worse.

I'm really tired of the worse. I need to find the way out pretty quickly.

I thought for a second that I was...getting in a better way?...but maybe I was wrong. But you know, if you "give it up" (well 50% up) as I've said, people lose respect for you. I guess I was just the chase. Now that it is over, I feel a little bit used? Maybe I'm wrong. It just isn't how I operate. I like something more. I have never been good at this whole lady intrigue thing. Is it over? I don't know.

I spoke with my professor today and he told me I'm between a B+ and an A-. I wanted to barf when I heard that. I had a really good talk with him and he is quite an interesting man. Surely one of those people you can sit and listen to for hours. He told me I need to start reading things like the New York Post. I was like, HUH? But I guess my writing style needs to develop. Now I understand this, and I know this. I worry that maybe I've chosen the wrong path for myself yet again. I know I probably should have gone into art, but bygones are bygones, and my mother said to me that I can't blame my parents for not going into art.

On the contrary, I can, because her memory is selective when it comes to the past and how they treated me. Ah well. Bygones.

I just worry a lot about the future, even though I am already in the future, and I definitely can't go backward.

Snapping Paper and Singing

My car has been dead for a while now, and yet I haven't done much to find a new one. I've done some investigations and hopefully there will be some changes coming up soon to that, because I feel like I've seen so much of my parents and I'm so in debt to their kindness that I don't know how to repay them. That was a long sentence.

When I wrote a paper last Weds I had to struggle really hard to write a third line in the opening paragraph. Paragraphs consist of 3 sentences, but I couldn't come up with a third, and I wasted so much of our allotted time trying to make the opening paragraph work. I need to bring a thesaurus too, because I always can think of a word but not the actual word I want to use.

Work was a little slow this weekend. For one, I was training a pair of women and had to just sit there over their shoulder and give corrections where needed. One is slow, one is fast. They are both pretty much okay people. I think the health field attracts some odd folk though. I don't know how else to put that.

We played an alright show with Dressy Bessy. There really wasn't much of a crowd, but I can't say that Katie and I did hardly much promoting the show. It always presents itself when we don't work hard at getting the word out. Unfortunately the show was on a Weds, which really sucks for Toledo. Hardly anyone comes out for the weekend so having a show on the weekday really crimped any hope of a large crowd from the get go. The only band we played with that I was really impressed with was One For The Team, some minneapolis band which reminded me of Mates of State harmonies, happiness of Tilly And The Wall, and Rilo Kiley keywork and guitar. You can check them out at http://www.myspace.com/onefortheteam where you should listen to the song 'Apples.'

Dressy Bessy's lead singer/guitarist Tammy was drunk and probably bumped on cocaine and interrupted my story telling screaming, "Play some music!" Really rude, but how can you tell that to someone that is drunk? Oh well, people act how they like. I was just disappointed.

My new favorite band I've been listening to is a Toronto band called Bruce Peninsula. Stop fucking around and check them out. http://www.myspace.com/brucepeninsula and listen to Steamroller.

Definitely at 3am time for sleep.