You know...

I just want to draw pictures and have people like them but not tell me they like them but just know they like them secretly and then I get paid for it and because of that money I can afford to draw really neat and interesting pictures and everyone is happy children ladies parents moondogs and especially me.

Sometimes.

Sometimes I log in and log out of different social networks, facebook and gmail and twitter. I don't know what I'm looking for, but it seems like the conversation has gone stale. There is no intrique, no new things to see, and it feels like everything that was nicely jumbled up and interesting has settled. That's the worst, isn't it? Settling. I've always hated that-- in relationships, in friends, in fights.

Sometimes I think my friends are settling with what they have, but then I just wonder if I don't understand what they see in people, or jobs, or themselves. I wonder if the people that do well in life are the ones who are never satisfied. But that as well doesn't sound like a good time. Who wants to battle with never feeling full or happy with what you have? I don't know. I just don't want things to be predictable. I wonder if that is what they mean by habit. Maybe I'm learning people's habits, even on a white computer screen. These are stupid questions, really. Who gives a damn.

My friend Alison says you can't say the word scooter without slightly smiling.